Ms. Bitch: Finding happiness is the best revenge. Read online

  “You’re amazing,” Aiden said, quite simply, and she read the truth in his eyes. And what a wonder it was, to see herself reflected there – the woman she wanted to be – admired, adored, and wanted. He made her want to be the woman she saw there, a bold, fearless world traveler, who lived life on her terms, and embraced all the challenges that came her way. She’d done that, partially she knew, by coming here. It was like she was stepping into an upgraded version of herself – one that she loved.

  Smiling, Tess pressed a kiss to his lips. “I think you’re pretty damn amazing, too, Aiden. Thank you for seeing me.” Then Tess gasped as he slid into her, filling her in a way she’d never felt before. Tess lost herself to the moment.

  After, Aiden patted his shoulder, indicating she should curl into him. “Cuddles,” Aiden demanded, and Tess laughed.

  “I’m so sweaty,” Tess protested.

  “I don’t care. Cuddles,” Aiden ordered and Tess cuddled up to him, tracing her hand down his chest and the long scar she found there.

  “What’s this?”

  “My zipper.” Aiden automatically pulled her hand with his so it covered his heart.

  “You had heart surgery?”

  “As a baby. It’s all mended now, but I think it pushed me to live the life I have.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, every year until I was about sixteen I had to go to Edinburgh Children’s Hospital for a check-up, which in itself was an annual reminder that I was different, fragile, I guess. Once a year, they would organize a holiday party for all the kids that I would see in the waiting rooms. Each year there would be new faces starting their journey but also a missing smile where another journey had ended. It made me realize how delicate life can be, and thinking about mortality at that age made me afraid. For years, I worried about every little thing. Until one day, I decided that I would go out and do all the things that made me afraid, and if I did them, then I’d no longer need to be scared.”

  “Oh,” Tess said, her voice catching, “And did you do all the things on your list?”

  “Most of them.” Aiden turned so his eyes met hers. “There’s still a few things that I haven’t gotten to yet.”

  Tess desperately wanted to ask what those things were, but by the way he looked at her, she had a feeling she could guess at least one.

  “I really admire that.” Tess ran her hand over his chest. “Not everyone would have tackled their fears the same way you have. Many would just drown their sorrows or hide from them.”

  “Oh, lass, alcohol helps, for sure.” Aiden laughed. “But I needed to do more with my time here.”

  “Not everyone is capable of taking risks like that.”

  “You’ve done the same,” Aiden traced a finger over her cheekbone, and then over her lips. “Starting a career as an author, leaving what should have been the safe haven of your husband, starting over. All of it. That’s incredible and you should be proud of yourself. It’s not easy, nor is it normal. I can’t tell you how many women I know who play it safe and stay with assholes because they are afraid to be alone.”

  “I don’t mind being alone,” Tess admitted, cuddling into him. “I mean, I do get lonely, but I’ve never minded being alone. I think if you can’t spend time with yourself, how do you really know who you are?”

  “And do you know who you are?”

  “I think I’m finally finding out.”

  “We all have our own paths. It’s okay to take your time figuring things out. That’s what I do. Except…I don’t know. I’d like a better idea for my future, I suppose.”

  “What do you see for your future? Aside from your trip, of course.”

  “I guess I’ll go back to the dive industry once I’m in Indonesia. I’ve saved enough money that I can live like a king there for a few years while I figure things out. You know what I always kind of thought I’d end up doing?”

  “What’s that?” Tess turned to meet his eyes.

  “I always thought I’d have a cool place on the water that I could run as my own little bed and breakfast.”

  “Really? You’d cook breakfast for people?”

  “Well, I don’t want to poison them,” Aiden quirked a smile at her, “But I like being in customer service. I like seeing how happy people are after they dive with me. There’s something special about being an integral part of making happy memories for guests. I think that matters. People save all year to go on a holiday and you can be the one to bring a smile to their face.”

  “It’s true, it does matter. People don’t talk about their desk job – they remember that time in Ecuador when they stayed at a cool little hostel on the beach where they had a happy hour with the owner.”

  “Exactly.”

  Aiden’s phone buzzed repeatedly in his jeans and he sighed, pulling her closer, clearly determined to ignore it.

  “Shouldn’t you get that?” Tess leaned back to look up at him.

  “It’s my buddy’s birthday tonight.”

  “Oh no!” Tess exclaimed. “You should go.”

  “I can stay right here. With you. All night. Much better way to celebrate. Trust me, he won’t care,” Aiden said, already kissing his way down her throat again.

  “No, I don’t want to be the girl who stops a guy from hanging with his friends,” Tess protested.

  Aiden sighed, pulling back. “Fine, we’ll go for a drink and a bite to eat, then we’re coming back here.”

  “We?”

  “Of course, we. Come meet my friends,” Aiden tugged her off the bed.

  We, Tess thought, and smiled to herself. It felt good that he called them a we, and then she shoved the thought down. The expectations of this trip had been defined, she reminded herself as they dressed.

  Just fun, no attachments – that’s just the way it had to be.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  His friends welcomed her with barely a raised brow, and Tess wondered if they were used to Aiden showing up with different women on his arm, or if they were accepting of new faces because of the nature of their industry. Dive instructors made friends all over the world, and people would pass through for a week or two at a time before moving on. Either way, Tess was quickly welcomed by everyone at the table, and had settled in with a margarita, striking up a conversation with a slim Venezuelan beauty who worked with Aiden.

  “I’m Elli,” the woman introduced herself in her thick accent, wild curls tumbling everywhere, a tangle of beaded necklaces at her throat. “How long have you been on the island?”

  “Just today. I’ll be here all week.”

  “Wonderful. Maybe we’ll dive together?”

  “That would be nice. I have no idea how they plan out the boats though.”

  “Knowing Aiden, he’ll have you on most of his trips. He plans the board for the day.” Elli slanted him a glance.

  “I love your necklaces,” Tess said, sipping her margarita and enjoying the bite of tequila. “They’re so unusual.”

  “Thank you! I make them. I try to make many of my own clothes too. It’s more sustainable,” Elli said. Tess just nodded, trying to wrap her head around creating clothes for herself. Though she was a creative, that sort of artistry eluded her.

  “I see you’ve met Elli,” Aiden said, leaning over, casually putting his arm around her shoulder and signaling to the table the nature of their relationship.

  “I have. Everyone’s been so nice tonight,” Tess looked around at the table, a veritable United Nations as there were so many accents and cultures represented in one spot. She wondered what it would be like to have such a diverse group of friends, and briefly envied Aiden’s life.

  “It’s a good team we have here. I’ll miss it when I go,” Aiden admitted, and despite herself, Tess felt her stomach twist at his words. How could he leave this group of friends and a great job? And her, her heart whispered, but Tess ignored it, reminding herself again that this was a “get her confidence back and just for fun” type trip.

  “We’re going
to miss him,” Elli agreed. Tess couldn’t help but wonder why Aiden hadn’t dated the beauty, but reminded herself that he had already told her he didn’t mix business and pleasure. Maybe at some point, she’d stop looking for lies and hidden meanings in the words men told her. For now, she still questioned everything. Pulled from her thoughts by a rousing cheers that went around the table for the birthday boy, Tess raised her glass. She laughed as a cake was passed down the table and the birthday boy had his head pushed face-first into the cake.

  “Feliz cumpleaños!”

  Diving with Aiden was incredible, and Tess quickly realized why people were so drawn to him. Not only was he excellent at his job, but he took his time with people, answering their questions, alleviating their fears, and helped people of all ages to explore the gifts the ocean had to give. And what gifts they were, Tess thought as they geared up for another dive. She’d seen everything from a splendid toadfish to black-tip reef sharks on one of the deeper dives. They swam through craggy underwater tunnels cutting through the reefs, hovered along expansive coral walls, and stopped to say hello to a pretty yellow seahorse that had taken up residence in between two coral heads.

  Underwater, she and Aiden had developed their own little language, often communicating with just their eyes or signaling inside jokes to each other with their hands. More than once, Tess found her mask flooding as she laughed too hard at Aiden doing something silly to impress her. He was charming, kind, and funny – it was almost impossible not to fall under his spell. Tess loved watching him on the boats as he answered questions from divers, gave out instructions to his team, and fended off more than one woman who made advances at him. She couldn’t fuss too much about women hitting on him, Tess thought, as she was guilty of doing the same. Either way, he was coming home with her – at least for this week.

  It felt like a dream – and maybe it was, for even though everything was very much real, it would never be Tess’s reality. Understanding that she’d walked into this with her eyes wide open, Tess decided to embrace the moments they did have and bury thoughts of the future and what feelings it might bring.

  Or so she tried to tell herself.

  One morning, he took her on a dive – just the two of them.

  “It’s a slow week, so I was able to sneak away to take you on a dive,” Aiden said, as he sat next to her on the boat, the wind blowing his blonde curls back from his face.

  “How exciting.” Tess smiled up at him, enjoying his easy confidence as the boat bounced across the waves. “My very own private dive guide.”

  “Let’s find some cool swim-throughs and I’ll show you some odd critters.”

  “You’ve already shown me so much.”

  Aiden’s grin widened and he lowered his sunglasses to shoot her a cheeky wink.

  “It has been nothing but my pleasure.”

  True to his word, Aiden led her on a beautiful dive. She followed him through narrow tunnels in the reef that led out to a deep blue drop off into the depths. He spent time finding macro life for her, showing her small nudibranchs and tiny cleaner shrimp. His eye for detail was phenomenal, and Tess learned just from watching him dive. Half the time she was too distracted to even look at the sea life, as she was so busy mooning after Aiden. She wondered if she could have a life like that someday, where she could enjoy a passion like this with her partner, and explore hidden depths together. Could life ever really be that simple?

  “I think that Australian mom had quite the thing for you,” Tess mused, lounging in the hammock swing in their private courtyard, the small wading pool glowing softly blue. It was their last evening together, the week having passed much too quickly in a blur of diving, eating leisurely dinners out, and losing sleep each night as they explored each other’s bodies.

  “Yeah, I know.” Aiden leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head, winking at her to let her know he was kidding. Though she supposed there was some truth to it, it had to be good for his self-confidence to work a cool job that had more than one woman fantasizing about him. It was a wonder Aiden’s ego wasn’t any larger than it was.

  “Must be nice,” Tess saluted him with her glass full of watered-down margarita, “having all these women throw themselves at you.”

  “I certainly have no complaints.” Aiden quirked a smile. “But sometimes it’s really awkward or uncomfortable for everyone, especially if they are doing it to make their man jealous and you have to dive with them. I’ve learned to keep my eyes on people’s faces, never check women out – well, at least when I’m speaking with them – and to keep a fairly respectful distance. And don’t get me started about wearing a kilt to a pub. Women think they can reach right under without asking.”

  “Shut up,” Tess said, momentarily distracted as she thought about Aiden in a kilt.

  “Aye, it’s a real thing. Not too pleasant being assaulted when you’re just out for a wee pint with your mates. Though I can’t say there weren’t a few times I didn’t mind.”

  “I’m sure,” Tess said, laughing. “What about dating your co-workers?” He definitely worked with some beautiful women.

  “Nope. I learned that lesson years ago.” Aiden laughed, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t shit where you eat, I believe is the saying.”

  “I suppose it’s best not to muddy the waters.” Tess kicked her foot out to set the little swing moving. “I remember the bar I worked at in college. Man, it was a mess of hormones and hook-ups. I did my best to stay out of it, which thankfully let me keep that job most of college. There was way too much drama when people crossed those lines or even switched up their sexual choices.”

  “Hmmm, sounds spicy. Do tell.”

  “I just remember one of our waitresses was a lesbian. Never once had she ever hinted at or discussed wanting to be with a man, and yet on our big Halloween party one year, I went downstairs to change a keg and there she was, legs wrapped around one of our bartenders.”

  “I’m assuming this was a male bartender.” Aiden asked, shifting closer so he could run a hand up her leg.

  “That it was. Imagine our surprise! She denied it after, which I kind of think is a shame – there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual.”

  “Was the guy upset?”

  “I think he had certainly hoped for more after that night, but she never hooked up with him again.”

  “Alcohol can do that,” Aiden said, crouching in front of Tess. “But I prefer my women to happily choose to be with me.”

  “I happily choose to be with you.” Tess gasped a little as his hands roamed their way up her legs beneath her skirt.

  “Good, I would hate to think you were having a miserable time.” He cocked an eyebrow at her as he knelt between her legs, nudging her knees open, and pressing a kiss to her inner thigh. Tess felt her insides go liquid as he controlled her movement on the swing, bringing her forward while his mouth trailed a path up her sensitive skin.

  “Nope, definitely not having a miserable time,” Tess said, groaning as his mouth found where she wanted him most. She leaned back into the hammock, closing her eyes as all of her focus centered on the sensations he was lavishing upon her. “I’d say, really, this is one of the better times I’ve had in ages.”

  “Tess?” Aiden stopped to look up at her.

  “Yes?”

  “Be quiet.”

  “Yes, sir,” Tess said, and relaxed into the hammock, letting Aiden take over. She certainly couldn’t complain, as the nerves in her body all but danced in joy, and he skillfully took her over the edge once more. Gasping, Tess met his eyes when he filled her, controlling her movements with the swing, leaving nothing for her to do but lay back while he rocked them deeply together. A drop of sweat trickled down her back as the night air kissed her heated skin, and Tess lost herself in the moment. It was decadent, having no control over their sex, and pleasure singed its way through her core as Aiden masterfully swung them home.

  “Come with me,” Aiden demanded, while Tess tried to sit up in the swing
, bleary-eyed. Tugging her hand, he pulled her up and led her to the full hammock that hung between two walls on the other side of the courtyard. Piling in, he pulled her so that her head nestled into the crook of his shoulder, and she could just make out the blue of his eyes searing into hers as he curled into her body.

  “That was…” Tess began.

  “Incredible?” Aiden asked, and Tess leaned up to kiss him, her lips lingering on his as her emotions bounced around inside, threatening to boil over.

  “Incredible,” Tess agreed, smiling up at him. She tried to tamp down all the thoughts that roiled in her mind, but he must have seen it on her face.

  “Don’t fall for me, Tess,” Aiden whispered, his eyes on hers as he stroked a hand down her cheek.

  Annoyed that he could read her mind and that he had been the one to say it, Tess arched an eyebrow at him, giving her best no-nonsense glare.

  “You don’t fall for me, Aiden,” Tess said.

  “I’m sorry, that sounded arrogant,” Aiden admitted, snuggling into her.

  “It did, but I get it. The same goes for you, buddy,” Tess said, lightly tugging a curl of his hair, though her heart felt bruised at his words.

  She didn’t want to think about anything else on their last night together but the way she felt wrapped in his arms, the stars blinking out in the velvet darkness above them, the faint sound of the ocean in the distance. Aiden made a little noise as he pulled her closer and they cuddled in, luxuriating in the moments they did have together.

  They spent much of the night holding each other, both trying to fight off sleep, before they’d finally succumbed in the early morning hours. Sunrise came, waking them. All too soon, his ride to work was honking outside the door.

  “I’ll speak to you soon,” Aiden said, his arms wrapped around her as he kissed her once more. “Thank you for an unforgettable week. You’re amazing, Tess, you really are.”

  “So are you, Aiden. I can’t believe the week is over already.” Tess her eyes puffy with lack of sleep, snuggled into the nook of his arm. “It just flew by.”