Ms. Bitch: Finding happiness is the best revenge. Read online

  “It is, and I constantly chafed at all the rules. I hated feeling trapped. I was always grounded, always in trouble. I looked forward to college just so I had some breathing room. And then, suddenly, they were gone. I wonder what I would have thought of them as an adult now. Or what they would think of me.”

  “I suspect they’d be proud of you and the wonderful life you’ve created for yourself. I’m proud of you and I’ve only known you for a few months.”

  “Thank you,” Tess squeezed Aiden’s hand, “I also wonder if they’d be like Vicki and shut me out because I’ve made my own decisions without consulting them.”

  “Is she really like that?”

  “Yes, unfortunately, she is. She’s incredibly overbearing. It’s a toss-up whether she’s in competition with me or wants to control my every move.”

  “And yet, here you are.”

  “Here I am.” Tess turned and smiled up at him. “Exactly where I want to be.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t let them trim your thorns, Tess. A rose bush still needs them to thrive.”

  “Thank you, Aiden.” Tess leaned up and brushed a kiss across his lips, sinking into him, as she did with every kiss, trying to cement this moment into her mind. “No such drama with your family then?”

  “No, not really. I think when I first went off traveling, they worried. Though it was supposed to be just a six-month thing, it’s turned into twelve years and counting. Now, I think they’ve just accepted that part of me and are glad that I’m following what makes me happy.”

  “That’s nice. I wonder how different I’d be if I hadn’t had the pressure to make certain choices in my life.”

  “Pressure’s not always a bad thing. At least you know what you do and don’t want now, right?”

  “I think I’m still trying to figure that out,” Tess admitted, watching as a pelican swooped low to dive for a fish.

  “I’d say you’re doing a damn fine job of it, lass.”

  It was two weeks after Tess arrived when Aiden finally got another day off. Two, actually. Late last night they’d decided to spend their precious time away from Cozumel and away from his group of friends, so they could really have some alone time together. First stop was Isla Mujeres for a night at a hotel.

  “Tell me about Isla Mujeres?” Tess asked.

  “It’s a tiny little island off the coast of Cancun. I used to take tourists up there to snorkel with the whale sharks,” Aiden said, turning to look at her from where he sat next to her on the bus.

  “That’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to swim with them.”

  “They’re incredible,” Aiden said, tugging a hand through his blonde curls. “In Madagascar they are called marokintana, meaning many stars, because of their markings. I wish we could leave them in peace but so long as they bring in tourist dollars they’ll be protected. Because above all else, sadly money wins out. If people pay to see them in the wild, they’ll stay safer than they otherwise would be. Can you imagine the mentality of someone looking at these amazing creatures, the largest fish in the ocean and them thinking their fin would make a nice sign to advertise their shark fin soup?”

  “It’s sad to think those gentle giants could be hunted.” Tess shook her head.

  “Everything has a price.” Aiden pulled out a tattered book and put it on his lap. “How do you feel about shark diving?”

  “I’d love it,” Tess said.

  “Great, because that’s on the agenda for tomorrow.” Aiden squeezed her hand, digging into his book. Tess did a little butt dance in her seat, and then tucked into her own book, loving that they didn’t feel the need to fill every silence with chatter.

  As promised, Isla Mujeres was a tiny little island, packed to the brim with boutique hotels and restaurants, and it was easy to walk around while they decided where to stay for the night. Coming up to one hotel at the tip of the island, they walked inside and negotiated a lower same-day rate, along with an all-inclusive pass.

  “Let’s get our money’s worth,” Aiden said, blinding Tess with a smile before pouncing on her as soon as they entered their swanky room in a little bungalow right on the water.

  They ate and drank their way through the resort, returning to the room when they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other anymore. Tess felt as excitable as a honeymooner, and she wondered if people would think they were. Cocooned away together, in a haze of lust, the outside world fell away once more and it was only them. Together.

  “I can’t believe I go home soon,” Tess said, curled into Aiden the next morning, her hand tracing the scar on his chest. “It doesn’t feel real.”

  “I know. Time flies so fast. I haven’t even begun to think about packing yet, or selling all my stuff.” Aiden shifted, turning a bit to pull her closer to him.

  “Will that be weird for you?”

  “I’m used to it. Though this is the longest I’ve stayed somewhere. I think I’m ready to go, but it will be tough to say goodbye – both having to say goodbye to friends as well the island I love so much. It’s a bit of a transient lifestyle, being a dive instructor, and you get used to the impermanence of things. I always remind myself of the Dr. Seuss quote where he says, ‘Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.’”

  “Is that hard for you?”

  “I do my best to keep a smile on my face. I love this life. I think there’s a lot to see and do in this world, and if I’m meant to see a person again, I will. Plus, with social media, it’s super easy to stay in touch with people if I want to.”

  “I suppose,” Tess said, turning to stretch. “We need to get going if we want to make the ferry. I heard talk of shark diving?”

  “Let’s do it, pretty lady.”

  “Hey,” Tess said, pausing while they packed what little they’d brought with them, “I could stay longer, you know.”

  “Here? Now?” Aiden met her eyes from across the room.

  “I, uh, checked with my dogsitter and they can watch the dogs longer.” Tess felt unaccountably nervous.

  “Like how long? What about your flights?”

  “It would just be a small change fee. They can watch the dogs for another week and a half but then they have commitments.”

  “Hmm,” Aiden said, and Tess bit back the need to push him on this. Didn’t he see that they needed more time together?

  “Anywho, just thought I’d let you know that I asked. We should go – that ferry is coming in fifteen minutes.” Tess pasted a smile on her face. What did she expect? The man was moving across the world in three weeks, he hadn’t even packed or made any of his goodbyes yet, and she was going to monopolize the rest of his time? She needed a very quick reality check, Tess reminded herself.

  “Let’s do it!” Aiden said. Tess looked up at him, beaming. “The bull sharks are waiting to take a bite out of us.” Aiden mocked biting her throat.

  Oh.

  She had thought he meant she should stay longer.

  She forced a laugh, shutting her eyes on the longing she was sure could be seen there. There was nothing else she could do but enjoy their last few days together. She’d have all the time in the world to cry over him when she returned to Denver.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  “You’ve been diving with sharks before, right?”

  “Yes,” Tess said, smiling as Aiden hefted two tanks, one over each shoulder, and trotted confidently ahead of her on the sand. “Though not ones of this caliber. Primarily reef sharks and nurse sharks.”

  They were on a long stretch of sandy beach in one of the most populated areas of Playa del Carmen. A small boat was hooked to a buoy, and a few other divers waited to wade into the water and board the boat. They weren’t traveling far, just out past the swim markers, and Tess wondered if all the tourists sunning themselves had any idea just how many bull sharks patrolled the shores in front of them. Luckily, the sharks had learned to be wary of tourists and rarely came closer to shore, or Tess feared they’d be in danger. The sharks, th
at is, not the tourists. Millions of sharks died every year at the hands of humans, incomparably more than ever harmed people – in fact, more people died each year from riding horses than from shark attacks. It made her sad, but people feared what they didn’t understand.

  “You are in for a treat then,” Aiden said, and she admired the way the wetsuit hugged his bum as he walked in front of her. “These ladies are beauties – many of them pregnant. I love seeing them, they’re so graceful, and larger than you think. It’s humbling to be able to dive with them. They have quite the reputation, as they can be dangerous, but in reality, we owe our thriving oceans to them.”

  “People are so fearful of them, yet without sharks as the apex predator, our reefs would suffer as other fish would take over and kill the smaller stuff we need.”

  “Exactly, and without the reefs – well, our oceans collapse and there goes our oxygen. You know, no big deal.” Aiden pretended a nonchalant shrug.

  “Right? Minor detail. Just another reason to love on sharks. I can’t wait to see them,” Tess said, following him into the water where he handed the tanks up to the captain, “I’m always in awe around sharks. I want to spend more time around them. I’m just entranced by how they move, their sheer presence.” They boarded quickly, eager to get on with the dive, and lapsed into companionable silence as the instructor briefed them on the safety protocols, time, and depth of their upcoming dive. Excited nerves kicked up, and she couldn’t wait to get in the water. There was nothing like a full-on shark encounter to keep her mind distracted. Some might suggest there were other, less dramatic ways to avoid thinking about the future, but as Tess’s adrenaline surged, she couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be.

  “Let’s dive,” the captain ordered, and they all rolled off the side of the boat, slowly sinking to the ocean’s floor, coming to rest in the sand on their knees as instructed. It wasn’t typical to kneel on the ocean floor, as divers learn to maintain neutral buoyancy, but for this dive the instructor wanted everyone in a line, on the sand, and they would wait as a group for the sharks to approach of their own curiosity and accord.

  As the minutes passed, Tess let her mind wander as she swayed gently in the water next to Aiden, her shoulder bumping his. People did this for a living, she thought, instead of going into corporate desk jobs every day – Aiden did this for a living. He was a man who craved new experiences, loved to explore, and enjoyed the tactile side of life. Never would he be the man to put on a suit and attend a monotonous job every day. Nor would he look for that in a relationship, she realized. He might not be the man who would look for the next best thing when it came to women, but he’d need a woman who could match his thirst for life, who could get up and go at a moment’s notice. While she could offer him some of that, Tess wasn’t without responsibilities. She loved her dogs and they were family. There was no way she’d hand them over to someone for six months and take off across the world. In the long run, would a relationship with Aiden even work?

  Aiden’s hand clenched Tess’s arm and she looked up, laser-focused on the shadows making their way slowly across the ocean floor, like graceful ships, gliding effortlessly closer. Tess gulped into her regulator. At over eight feet long and several hundred pounds in weight, the sheer size of the sharks put her life immediately into perspective. Before she could even register fear, her heart tumbled over into love. Quite simply, these pregnant bull sharks were stunning. A glossy sheen coated their skin, and they moved with grace, coming as close as they pleased, passing by them repeatedly to determine if the divers were friend or foe. Tess craned her head over her shoulder to see more circling them, and laughed into her regulator, almost made giddy by the experience.

  The group drifted across the floor, spreading out a bit, as photographers got their shots, and nervous divers held tight to each other. Tess was filled with joy, she was so delighted with the nearness and beauty of these magnificent animals. Turning, she saw Aiden wave hello to a shark that passed right by his face, causing her laugh of delight to get caught in her throat. She wanted to be with a man who would wave nonchalantly to a shark, like they were best friends passing each other on the street. Aiden turned and their eyes met across the sand.

  He held his hands together, forming a heart shape, and lifted them out to her. A considerably curious shark nudged between them and Tess kicked lightly so she could see over the passing dorsal fin to where Aiden’s hands still formed a heart. Mirroring him, she gave him her heart back.

  Chapter Forty

  “I just have to run to the immigration office to get a few papers. Will you be fine on your own for a bit?” Aiden asked after they’d come back from one of the best dives of her life. Neither of them mentioned the heart gesture Aiden made. Some things were best left unsaid.

  “Yes, I’d like to do a little shopping. I’ll meet you back here in an hour.” Tess already knew what she wanted to find. Aiden kissed her and sent her on her way.

  She wandered the streets of Playa del Carmen, pushing among the booths that crowded the streets, the vendors all calling out for her attention. She was looking for something she could give Aiden to carry on his travels that would remind him of her. A talisman of sorts, she supposed, as she picked up a bracelet and discarded it, and continued walking. The gift needed to be small, something he could tuck into his pack, but she also wanted it to be meaningful. An amber shop caught her eye, and she stopped to look in. It was one of the few shops where someone hadn’t yelled at her to approach, which already raised her estimation of it.

  Walking inside, she peered into glass cases, marveling over all the beautiful amber carvings, the lights above making them seem to glow from within. A small, round woman, dripping in amber jewelry and with feathers knotted into her hair, smiled at her over the counter.

  “Buenas tardes,” the lady said.

  “Hola, hello,” Tess replied. “Tu hablas ingles?”

  “Yes, I do. How may I be of help to you today?”

  “I’m looking for a gift for someone, I need it to be… meaningful. For protection while traveling.”

  “This is a man?” The woman leveled a look at her over her glasses.

  “Yes, a man.”

  “Let’s see then. We have some more masculine pieces over here.” The woman drew her to the back of the shop. “These turtles are quite lovely.”

  But Tess had already seen her piece – a small, intricately carved skull that seemed to beckon to her from the glass shelf.

  “This one. The skull,” Tess said, pointing to it.

  “Ah, that’s a lovely piece.” The woman nodded her approval and took it out to hand over to Tess. About the size of a quarter, the details on it were stunning. She was amazed to see flecks of brown and leaves inside the amber. It seemed warm in her hand, as though it pulsed with a power of its own, and she put it gently down on the counter.

  “Yes, I think this will be nice.”

  “This man has your love?” The woman cast a shrewd eye on her as Tess nosed around the shop, picking up a bracelet for herself.

  “I mean… it’s hard to say. It’s a tough situation,” Tess admitted.

  “He’s going traveling, you say?”

  “Yes, he is. Across the world, for a very long time.”

  “You care for him.”

  “I do.” Tess smiled ruefully at the woman, who surprised her by reaching across the counter to grasp both of Tess’s hands in her own.

  “He’ll come back to you.”

  “I don’t think he will,” Tess said, pressing her lips together. “And I have to learn to live with that.”

  “He’ll come back,” she insisted, releasing Tess’s hands and touching her hand to the middle of her forehead. “I see it.”

  “Oh, well, that’s very nice of you to say.”

  “You must open your heart.”

  “It is open.” Tess sighed a little as she tucked her hair behind her ear, picking up the amber bracelet to hold it to the light. “More than it should
be at this stage in my life, to be honest.”

  “A heart should always be open. Living with it closed, well, what’s the point? You will hurt, yes, but you will always hurt. How do you know good without the bad? Life isn’t meant to shield you from pain, but to help you feel – all of the emotions. You must feel them here.” The woman brought a fist to her chest. “Otherwise, why live at all? It’s our human experience to feel these things, to learn, to grow. To turn your back on love, well, it leaves you cold inside, you understand?”

  “I’m not turning my back on it, I just don’t see how it could work out,” Tess said, sliding the bracelet next to the skull.

  “You don’t see the air you breathe, but you still trust it is there,” the woman argued. “Have a little faith. Now, let me pray on these.”

  Tess took a deep breath as the woman chanted over her gifts, trying to push down the hope that wanted to bubble to the surface. Sure, it was easy for some woman in a shop in Mexico to tell her it would all work out, but at the end of the day, the only person she could trust was herself. Either way, she appreciated the kindness and smiled when the woman came around the counter to hug her, passing her the gift wrapped nicely.

  “Trust,” the woman whispered.

  Tess walked out, then turned around quickly, having a surreal feeling that the store would vanish behind her and that the last hour was nothing but a mirage. But the shop still stood, the owner waving to her with a smile. Tess waved back, tucking the gift in her purse, and went to find Aiden.

  “I have a surprise for you,” Aiden said when she met him moments later at the doorstep of a coffee shop. His smile was infectious, and the seriousness of the hour before drifted away as she beamed back at him. “I want to take you to one of my favorite spots here.” Aiden looped his arm through hers and then looked down at her dress. “No shopping bags?”

  “Nothing major, no,” Tess said, and let him lead her through town, laughing at the story of his confusion at Immigration and how he might have told them he had four children instead of living for four years in Mexico.