Ms. Bitch: Finding happiness is the best revenge. Page 24

  “Here we are,” Aiden said. He pulled Tess through a bamboo doorway surrounded by lush plants and down a darkened staircase, going lower into the ground.

  “What is this place?”

  “Just look,” Aiden said. Tess gasped when they finally wove their way through a tunnel that opened into a bar and a restaurant.

  “Is this a cave? Like an actual cavern?” Tess exclaimed.

  “It is. And there’s loads of rooms. Let me buy you a fancy drink and we’ll wander through to see all the different spots.” Aiden pulled her to the bar. They ordered some ridiculous drinks, and Tess laughed as they bounced their way through the tunnels, stopping in rooms with massive stalactites, or stars projected onto the ceiling. It was a beautiful idea, and Tess loved how each tunnel led them deeper into the ground, until Aiden found a small room that was empty. In it sat a large throne with several comfy chairs staggered around it, and warm red lights were tucked behind the stalagmites, creating an ethereal glow around the damp stones.

  “Your throne?” Aiden asked, gesturing for her to sit, while he took a chair next to her.

  “This is wonderful, Aiden. Thank you for bringing me.”

  “I think you’re amazing, Tess. I…” Aiden turned and reached for her hand, his eyes meeting hers.

  “Yes?” Tess asked, holding her breath.

  “I’d like for you to stay. If you are certain you can swing it and it’s not too expensive to change your flights. Will you stay longer?”

  “Yes, Aiden, I’d love to,” Tess said, her cheeks flushing in excitement. “Oh! I got you something.”

  “Oh yeah?” Aiden laughed, and they quickly moved past the weight of the moment, the words left unsaid.

  “Here, a gift for you, for your travels.” Tess handed him the wrapped box.

  “Oh, you got me a proper gift?” Aiden looked at her in surprise.

  “I did.”

  She watched as he unwrapped it, and when his face lit with delight, she knew she’d picked the right thing.

  “Tess! This is amazing! I’ve been meaning to pick something up that would remind me of Mexico. I like to take a keepsake from all the countries I’ve been to. What with the amber here, the sugar skulls, and it coming from you? It’s the perfect gift.” Aiden leaned over and Tess met him halfway. As he kissed her on her throne in the underground cave, the words of the shop owner moved through her heart.

  “It’s to protect you in your travels.”

  “I’ll keep it with me always,” Aiden promised.

  Chapter Forty-One

  “Ah, shite, my phone’s basically broken,” Aiden sighed later that week, as he shook the offending object at her.

  “Oh no! We’ll have to go out and get you a new one,” Tess said, snuggling into him on his couch. The extra time had felt like a nanosecond, and she wondered if she would ever have enough time with this man. For the last week and a half, the tension had built inside her while their goodbye loomed over their heads.

  It didn’t help that she had seen him answering the messages on his phone and computer from his “travel buddy.” Logically, Tess knew he needed to communicate with this girl – they were traveling with each other across the world – but knowing their past history still made her a bit queasy. A man she cared deeply for was about to travel with a twenty-five-year-old he used to hook up with. It struck a little too close to home, and while Tess had done her best to play it cool, the jealousy had begun to gnaw at her gut, like a snail slowly eating a rosebush.

  “Nah, I don’t need to get a phone.” Aiden shrugged dismissively.

  Tess straightened, pulling back to look at him. “What do you mean you don’t need a phone? Of course you need a phone.”

  “Why? It just costs extra money. I have a camera and my laptop. What’s the point?”

  “But how will you call me? How will we stay in touch?”

  “I can Skype you from my computer.” Aiden’s forehead creased in concern.

  “Yeah, but that’s not as easy as calling from a phone. You’ll have to go find a private place. You won’t be able to call or message at whim. It’s just that much harder,” Tess pressed, already feeling like she was losing him.

  “Tess, I’m not spending money on a new phone that I don’t need,” Aiden said, his eyes never leaving hers.

  “But you have to! You can’t just not have a phone.” Tess got up from the couch, slamming the door to the bedroom behind her as she tried to calm the tears that threatened to spill over.

  “Tess.” Aiden knocked politely on the door. “Can we talk about this?”

  “No, we can’t,” Tess said, fuming. What was she going to say, ‘You’ll be doing all these amazing things with some young chick around the world and won’t even be able to call me’? It was the truth, and even though she’d known it all along, denial was a beautiful drug when taken properly.

  “Tess.” Aiden opened the door and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ll still be able to talk to you. It will be okay.”

  “All I know is that I’m leaving tomorrow and you won’t have a phone.” She swallowed over the lump that had formed in her throat.

  “I promise I’ll be able to get in touch with you. Can’t you trust in me?” Aiden asked.

  Tess stilled, not sure what she could or couldn’t trust anymore. “I don’t know, Aiden. It’s all a lot.”

  He tugged her until they sat on the bed, cross-legged, facing each other. “I know it’s a lot. Listen, what will make you feel better about this? What if I promise to call you… well, it will be hard to call every day. I’ll be traveling in some pretty remote places. But what if I promise that someway, somehow, I’ll be in touch every forty-eight hours. Will that make you feel better?”

  “But…why? What’s the point? What are we, Aiden?”

  There, she’d finally said it.

  “I… I don’t know,” Aiden said slowly. “I want to be with you, I want to see you again. But I am not ready for us to be a couple.” Aiden’s words burned through her.

  “Right,” Tess said, tugging at his bedspread.

  “It’s just… listen, I know I’ll be away a long time and I don’t want to make any promises that I can’t fulfill. I’m a man of my word, and if I tell you I’ll do something, I hold to that. I think if we were exclusive right now, it would put too much unnecessary pressure on a relationship that’s still so new.”

  The man was absolutely right, Tess knew that, and yet it still felt like a rejection.

  “It’s because of her, this girl,” Tess said.

  “It’s not that, really. I can’t promise nothing will happen there, and I know you hate hearing that, but I have told you I will always be one hundred percent honest with you. And I want to see you again, Tess. I’m willing to shorten my trip so we can meet up again down the road and see where this goes.”

  “But what does that mean? We go off and live our lives and date other people?” Tess looked up at him, her heart trembling in her chest.

  “I… I guess so,” Aiden said, his face a mess of emotions. “I truly believe if it’s meant to be, we’ll find each other again.”

  “But I’m right here, Aiden. You already found me.” It was the closest she would get to expressing her feelings.

  “I know that, Tess. And the timing of this all is totally shite. It’s tearing me up inside. I swear, if I’d met you a month earlier, I never would have signed on for this trip. But I have, and I have a responsibility to her as well. I’m essentially her chaperone, and her family feels more comfortable that I’m going with her. I committed to this; you can’t just up and leave someone like that. Not on that big of a trip. It would be wrong of me, especially at this late of a date. We’ve both quit our jobs, sold our things, and we are going. That’s the reality of the situation. One which you knew about, as I was totally honest with you.” Aiden reached out to squeeze her hand.

  “You were, I know you were,” Tess said, sighing. “But when I knew about it, you were suppo
sed to be a fling. I was fine with it then. But now? The reality of all this… it’s just a lot for me.”

  “I hate this, I really do. But I believe we’ll be together if we’re meant to,” Aiden said, and Tess knew in her core that there was no budging him. He was going to go on this trip, no matter what, and she’d known it all along. It was time to accept the truth that was staring her in the face.

  “Okay, Aiden. I hate this, and I wish you didn’t have to go. Or… travel with this girl. But I get it. You’re right, you were up front about this all along. I appreciate your offer of reaching out to me every forty-eight hours or so. That would be nice,” Tess said, doing her best to be an adult.

  “I’ll shorten my trip. I don’t have to go to Indonesia. I could come visit you in Colorado after the Philippines,” Aiden said, a hopeful look on his face.

  “And what would that timeline look like exactly?” Tess wondered.

  “Um, I’d say roughly six months or so. Maybe sooner, if I shave a few stops off,” Aiden squinted his handsome face as he considered it.

  Six months, Tess thought as her heart dropped to her stomach. A lot could change in six months – like going from being married to divorced.

  “Why don’t we just see how this all goes,” Tess suggested, and leaned forward to kiss him. “As you said, if it’s meant to be, it will be.”

  “I promise I will be in contact. Phone or no phone. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Aiden’s eyes searched hers.

  “I hope so, Aiden.”

  “I have something for you,” Aiden said, turning to dig in his drawer, and handing her a package wrapped in rustic paper and pretty twine.

  “What’s this?”

  “Just something I had made for you.” Aiden leaned toward her. “Open it.”

  Tess unwrapped the twine and unfolded the paper to find an artisan-style necklace and earrings lying in the paper. Pulling out the necklace, she held it up to the light.

  “It’s beautiful – so funky and different.”

  “I had Elli make them. I asked her to make something that would fit your style,” Aiden said shyly. “I asked her to make something that would look good on you.”

  “That’s really sweet, Aiden.” Tess put the necklace on, smiling at him. “How does it look?”

  “Amazing. You’re amazing, Tess.” Sadness crossed his handsome face. “I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice catching. He leaned over to brush his lips over hers. Tess closed her eyes and let the kiss take her away, for there was nothing left to be said. Even though he didn’t want to lose her, it seemed like he was the one holding their future in his hands. It was a feeling that made Tess decidedly uncomfortable, something for her to take out and examine at a later date. For now, she opened her heart like the woman in the shop had instructed and let Aiden love her, in the only way he could allow himself to in that moment.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  She gave herself a week to cry.

  Daniel and Teddy dutifully listened while she moped, saying all the right things, concerned for her angst. Elizabeth came over for pizza to talk it out. But they all circled back to the same thing: Aiden was gone, and she’d known all along it would end like this. Her heart an open void, Tess was once more on her own.

  “I promise, I’ll be better soon,” Tess cried to Daniel. “I know I’m obsessing over it right now, but I’m just giving myself this week to mope.”

  “That’s fair. But if you go too far down that hole, I’m pulling you out, girl.” Daniel poured her another glass of wine. “In the meantime, hand over your phone. Tinder time!”

  “Ugh, like that’s what I need right now. Listen, I’m more than okay not dating for a while.” Tess sipped her wine and wiped her eyes. The thought of being with someone else, faking niceties over dinner, made her stomach turn.

  “Doesn’t mean it won’t feel good to know there are others out there who want you, honey,” Daniel said, digging into her phone.

  True to his word, Aiden had messaged her when he could from across the world, though his messages were short and they lost the immediacy of having a conversation back and forth. She was happy he was exploring and living his life, but she longed for how they’d walk everywhere with no direction in mind, stopping to dangle their feet over a wall and look at the water, talking about everything and nothing at all. She wanted his nearness, his scent, his arms holding her.

  “I don’t know if I need to feel wanted.” Tess burrowed into the couch. “It’s more about missing Aiden than needing a man to complete me.”

  “I so get that, but isn’t it nice to be in a partnership? Aren’t you happier when you have someone?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that anymore,” Tess admitted, sipping more of her wine, the red crisp on her tongue. “I’d say my default answer would be, of course I’m happier in a relationship, but then I’ve never been a relationship person. Which sounds weird, I know, since I was married. But before Gabe, I didn’t date for a long time. I always moved on around the three-month mark. And if nobody was in my life, I was actually just fine. In fact, I quite liked it. I could sleep in the bed how I wanted, I could travel where I wanted, spend my money how I wanted… frankly, being alone is quite liberating.”

  “So, what’s stopping you from finding that liberation again?” Daniel asked, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “You’re single now. Why let Aiden steal your happiness?”

  Tess thought about his words all week as she moped her way through what felt like another bad breakup. At the end of the week, fed up with her mood, she decided it was time to start refocusing on the things that made her happy. To start with, she had a book to work on. Sliding out her laptop, she dove into edits, losing herself in her words, letting the pleasure of productivity overtake her sadness.

  Several hours later, she looked up when a Facebook message buzzed through. Taking a break from work, Tess stood and stretched, walking to the kitchen to put on water for tea while she scrolled her messages.

  Hey, it’s Janie from Cozumel. Remember how we talked about doing a dive trip in the future? I’m going on a live-aboard in the Bahamas. Want to go with?

  Taking off for a week on a boat full of people she didn’t know, even though they’d be diving all day long, just hadn’t appealed when Janie had first mentioned it to her. But now, the idea took root. Being single meant making choices for herself – and doing the things she loved.

  When is it again?

  Over Easter. I have the week off work. Come meet me! It will be fun.

  Send me the details.

  Easter was another holiday that she’d typically spent with Vicki and family. Now, since Vicki still refused to speak to her – though Chad still surreptitiously asked questions to funnel information back to her – Tess thought getting away sounded like the perfect thing to do. Apparently, being single also meant forming new traditions. Her family had totally failed her, so Tess could either mope her way through another holiday, or spend it creating new memories. Before she knew it, Tess had filled out the request form Janie had sent over, and on a whim, started looking at other diving trips in the area. She’d been following an Instagram account with the most beautiful shark photos, and if she was going to be in the Bahamas anyway, maybe she could get in a few dives with this shark group. Looking up their website, she found they had no availability.

  Tess leaned against the counter, sipping her tea, her eyes on the backyard where snow slowly melted into the grass. While she was glad she’d taken the week to cry over Aiden, it didn’t feel good to mope about a situation she couldn’t change. Ultimately, it was going to be on her to ensure her own happiness – that wouldn’t come from Aiden, from Vicki, or from some random guy on Tinder. It would be through standing up for herself, following through on her creative drive, and throwing herself into exploring her own passions and hobbies. If the well was empty, it wasn’t the villagers who would fill it up, Tess mused, if she was the only one who knew where the stream w
as.

  Her phone began to ring, and Tess realized it was a Facebook call, which only meant one thing – Aiden! Despite herself, she smiled and answered.

  “Hey,” Tess said, walking across the room to cuddle into the couch and tuck her feet under the blanket. Red automatically assumed his spot next to her, while Ringo rustled up a toy and dropped it in her lap.

  “Hi, Tess – can you hear me?” Aiden asked, his words breaking up, the internet connection clearly poor where he was.

  “Barely, but yeah,” Tess said. “How are you? Where are you?”

  “We just got to this tiny island… checked into… hotel… and has wifi.”

  Tess closed her eyes as she heard the voice of a woman in the background talking, knowing he must be sharing a room with that girl. It sounded like she was making her own call to someone.

  “That’s great, Aiden. I’m glad you made it okay.” Tess patted Red’s head, trying to ignore the pit of anger that roiled in her stomach.

  “It’s frustrating. I want to be… to contact you better. Hear your voice. I just wanted to check in… you and see how you are. How are… dogs? Is the book… okay?”

  “All’s good here. Working on my book, dogs are happy I’m home.” Tess rolled her eyes as she heard the faint sound of the woman’s laugh through the phone. “I think I’m going to go on a live-aboard in the Bahamas with that girl Janie I met in Cozumel.”

  “Oh yeah? When? …will be nice. Be careful.” The phone abruptly cut out and Tess, for once, was glad to no longer be speaking to him. Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths.

  She knew the score with Aiden. Knew it. She had walked into it eyes wide open and he’d been completely honest with her. But at the end of the day, hearing the girl’s laughter in the background, and knowing they were sometimes sharing accommodations while traveling, was like a kick to her gut. There were too many parallels between Gabe having an affair with a young college intern and Aiden off traveling the world with a twenty-five-year-old. Aiden had even said he couldn’t promise that nothing would happen with this girl, a girl he’d dated in the past.