Ms. Bitch: Finding happiness is the best revenge. Read online

  And, still.

  Tess straightened her shoulders, adjusting her pretty summer dress, and felt nerves skitter through her stomach at the knock on the door. The dogs went wild, as their favorite thing was guests at the door, and then leaped all over Gabe when he entered the house without Tess opening the door for him. It annoyed her that he hadn’t waited, but she swallowed it down and just looked at him.

  Four months since she’d seen him in person. He looked ever the same, his hair in perpetual need of a haircut, and he smiled the same quirky smile at her, trying to hide his crooked bottom teeth.

  “Hey,” Gabe said, his eyes lighting up at her.

  “Hey,” Tess said, struggling to process the emotions that flooded her. A part of her wanted to hug him, and another part of her wanted to kick his ass through the window behind him.

  “Hey guys, good to see you.” Gabe bent to the floor, making a show out of petting the dogs. “Wow, they really missed me.”

  “They do that with everyone who walks through the door,” Tess said, breaking the moment and moving into the kitchen. She needed whiskey.

  “No need to be bitchy. I miss my boys,” Gabe said, coming to stand by her in the kitchen. “I miss you, too.”

  Tess shrugged, his nearness unnerving her. Their sex life had never been an issue, and even now, she wasn’t immune to the man she once professed to love forever. She’d been with the man for years, it had to be a natural response. Though she now saw him through a new lens, one where the shine had long worn off revealing the insecure boy who needed constant attention from anyone who would give it to him.

  “Thank you,” Tess said lightly, mixing herself a Jameson and ginger ale.

  “Can I have one?” Gabe nodded to the glass, before looking around the house. “The place looks nice.”

  “It has to. We’re trying to sell it, remember?”

  “I’m well aware, Tess.”

  “The agreement is on the counter.” She motioned with her glass to where the paperwork was spread out, two pens neatly placed on top. The expectation was clear – sign it and get out.

  “Fine, fine, all business,” Gabe grumbled, and pulled out a stool – not backless, and something that she’d agreed to give to him in the agreement, Tess noted. It had taken ages of back-and-forth with emails to sort out who got what, and she certainly couldn’t recommend this process to anyone, but finally, hopefully, the end was now near.

  Tess paused for a moment, unsure what to do, before rounding the counter and sitting on the stool next to him. Taking a healthy gulp of her drink, she nodded to the paperwork.

  “Okay, let’s get through this.”

  Three drinks later, and with a minimal amount of fuss, they finished going through the agreement. She watched, silently, as his pen scratched his signature across the page. Tess leaned her arms on the counter, turning her head to really look at Gabe.

  “So that’s it.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Gabe said, his eyes meeting hers. Eyes she’d known for ages now, eyes she’d once looked into and promised forever with.

  “It’s a little surreal, sitting here and doing this,” Tess admitted.

  “I know. After all this work we put into refinishing this kitchen,” Gabe said. “Tess… I…”

  “Gabe, don’t. Just don’t, there’s nothing you can say,” Tess said, dangerously close to… something she wasn’t sure of.

  Instead, he leaned over and kissed her, his lips sliding over hers. The comfort of what once was surrounded her. It surprised her, that she could still want the touch of a man who had hurt her so.

  “Tess…I miss you,” Gabe breathed against her lips, and Tess’s stomach flipped in turmoil, “I miss being with you. It’s so lonely going to bed by myself every night.” Gabe stood and tried to tug her toward the stairs, toward their bedroom. However, his words stopped Tess from moving from her seat.

  “But that’s impossible,” Tess stood, crossing her arms over her chest and meeting his eyes.

  “What’s impossible? I love you, Tess. Of course, I miss being with you. I miss our life, I miss this house, I miss our dogs. I want to be with you – I want to make this work.”

  Tess closed her eyes. She’d wanted this from him – she’d wanted Gabe to fight for her. But even now, she knew he only had his mind on one thing and that was not on repairing their marriage.

  “It’s impossible that you could be lonely every night when you’re sleeping with your mistress,” Tess said, her tone sharp as she stared him down.

  “I’ve told you a million times – that’s over!” Gabe said, running a hand through his hair, exasperation lacing his voice.

  “And I know you are lying to me. Still, you lie! For once, I wish you could just be honest with me. Hell, if you can’t be honest with me – then be honest with yourself. This isn’t real, Gabe. None of what you are saying is real. You need to leave,” Tess pointed toward the door, fury ripping through her.

  “Seriously? You’re making me go?” Gabe asked, incredulous.

  “Yes, Gabe. We aren’t going to be together again. We’re getting divorced, the house is on the market.” Tess swept her hand out to the room. “All of this is going away. And so are you. You need to leave. You don’t get to stay and cuddle and pretend that all is forgiven. Because it’s not. This is goodbye.”

  “That’s a hell of a way to say goodbye, Tess.”

  “Don’t act so offended. What did you think would happen? That I’d take you upstairs and you’d tell your girlfriend that you guys were done? All would be forgotten and we’d start over?”

  Gabe stared at her, his face mulish. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

  Tess’s hands clenched, barely swallowing down a scream. “Yes, you do. I know you’re going on your road trip with her.” Tess searched his face, wondering if he would finally, just finally, be honest with her.

  “I swear I’m not,” Gabe said, lifting his chin, his eyes darting away. “I’m doing this trip alone – for myself. For me, Tess. Don’t you see how this has torn me apart? I’ve been lost without you! Lost! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life. I have no job, no direction, I don’t even want to be in this damn city anymore. I can’t even go out because all our friends judge me.”

  Pity party for one, Tess thought, narrowing her eyes at him as she struggled to calm the rage that threatened to spew out of her.

  “Those are all choices you made, Gabe. You decided to cheat. You decided to quit your job. You decided to go on this trip with your girlfriend,” Tess said, crouching to pet a whimpering Red. He was her most sensitive dog, and hated when Gabe yelled at her.

  “I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s over,” Gabe lied again.

  “Bullshit. But you know what? Who you screw is no longer my concern. This is your life now, Gabe. Figure it out.”

  “Oh, like you’ve been some angel?” He paced the kitchen. “You went to fucking New Orleans – our city – with Owen. Made me look like a laughingstock to our friends. The fact you’d hook up with that guy, over me? How do you think that makes me look?”

  Tess stared at him, completely astounded at how self-absorbed he was.

  “I don’t think my choices have any reflection on you anymore, Gabe,” Tess said, her voice quiet. She was tired – bone-deep tired – and she just wanted him to go.

  “I’m going on this trip alone. I’m going to find myself and I’ll show you, Tess. You just watch – you’ll realize what you’re missing out on.” Gabe turned to leave.

  “Absolutely nothing, Gabe. That much I know for sure. Trust me, you’re the only one that’s going to be missing out.” Tess said, hugging Red to her. Gabe stood in the doorway for a moment, silhouetted in the light from the hallway, looking at her. A myriad of emotions crossed his face and she watched as he danced from sadness to rage. At least they were finally on the same page about something.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The hallway was eight tiles across. Tess paced, counting each tile, refusin
g to look at the woman who wept gently in the corner, waiting for the doors of the divorce court to open. Their divorce was first on the docket, and Tess had shown up early, her nerves strung thin from a sleepless night.

  It would be the last thing they would do together as a couple, and Tess pushed down the memory of their wedding that rose unbidden to her mind. A part of her felt like a racehorse at the gate, itching for the door to swing open so she could run away, leaving the past in the dust, blinders on to everything but a new future.

  “Tess.”

  Tess turned to see Gabe, fidgeting with a button at the cuff of the blue button-down shirt he wore.

  “Hi,” Tess said, not sure what the exact protocol was for greeting the person you were ending a future with. Luckily her lawyer, Sandra, strode up at that moment. Clad in a red jacket and kick-ass heels, she held her hand out briskly to Gabe.

  “Sandra Moriarty. You must be Gabe?”

  “Yes, nice to meet you,” Gabe said automatically.

  “Yes, well, under the circumstances, I’d say likely not so nice. However, I would like to ask once more if you’re comfortable with the agreement that’s been signed, and if you understand all the paperwork?”

  Gabe nodded once, brushing a too-long lock of hair from his face. “I do.”

  “Great. This should go fairly smoothly then. The judge will call each of you forward, and he’ll ask you to state your name and if you understand and agree to the terms of the agreement. If at any point, you don’t understand the question or you need clarification, please don’t hesitate to ask.” Sandra checked a slim gold watch at her wrist. “It’s time for us to go in; they’ll be calling us shortly.”

  And so Tess sat before a judge, in a courtroom with a grating fluorescent light that turned her skin an odd shade of green, and looked Gabe in the eye when the judge asked her if the marriage was beyond repair.

  It was. Tess knew that in her heart. Yet it hurt – it hurt to know the marriage had failed, that she hadn’t trusted her instincts with this man, and that she’d let herself be so consumed by someone, she’d lost who she was as a person. A part of Tess wanted to promise herself that she would never again put herself in the position where a tired judge had to be the final say on whether she could move on with her life or not, but that might have just been the smell of failure in divorce court clouding her brain.

  They walked to the carpark after, wordless, as Tess thought about how strange it was to feel comfortable walking in silence with someone who was no longer going to be a part of her future. Stopping at her car, she turned.

  “There’s a house showing with a highly interested couple right now. I’ll let you know how it goes. Otherwise, no showings next week as I’ll be gone.”

  “Is it really the best time for you to go on a trip?” Gabe asked, annoyance flashing over his face. Tess wondered how tight money was getting with him, as he still hadn’t tried to find a job.

  “After a divorce? Yes, Gabe, I’d say it’s exactly the perfect time to go on a trip,” Tess said, lifting her chin at him as she leaned back against her Jeep and crossed her arms over her chest. The light was dim on the lower floor of the parking garage, and the lot was silent but for the tapping of someone’s heels toward the elevator.

  “It’s just that… I need, I mean we need the house to sell,” Gabe said, shrugging a shoulder.

  “I understand, but much like you just took a road trip with your girlfriend, I deserve to take a trip as well.” Tess tried to bite back a smile as Gabe’s face settled in his normal mulish lines.

  “I wasn’t with her.”

  “Save it. I don’t care, Gabe.” Tess shrugged. “You’re not my problem anymore.”

  “As you’ve already told me many times. You don’t have to be like this.” Gabe moved to stand closer to her. “What are you doing now? I thought we might go get breakfast, and you know… hang out.”

  “Are you serious?” Tess asked, her mouth dropping open as Gabe flashed her a smile – a smile that had once worked its charm on her – and leaned in to put an arm on either side of her.

  “Yeah, wouldn’t that be just like us? Saying goodbye the right way – for old times’ sake?”

  Tess closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “No, Gabe. I don’t think so. I will say this – I wish you’d learn from this,” Tess said, her eyes meeting his, eyes she knew as well as her own. “I truly mean that. I hope you learn and grow from this. We all have experiences in life that are meant to change us. This is one of them. For your girlfriend’s sake, I hope you don’t ever hurt someone the way you hurt me again, but your track record isn’t looking so good at the moment.”

  “I can change – anyone can change, Tess.”

  Tess just shook her head at him, deciding not to point out the fact that he’d just propositioned her while fully involved with another woman. The irony would be lost on him. “I know, Gabe,” she whispered and let him hug her, breathing in his scent once more and saying goodbye to the man she once knew – the good and the bad. She stepped back. If Gabe was a lesson for her to learn, she needed to acknowledge that as well.

  “You’ll let me know about the house?”

  “Of course.” Tess got in her car, nodding to where he stood, hands in his pockets, an incredible sadness on his handsome face. She pulled away. Tamping the emotions down, Tess sang her lungs out all the way to Mae’s house, where she had promised to be waiting.

  It wasn’t until Mae opened the door, a mimosa in hand, that Tess allowed herself to cry, gratefully accepting the offered alcohol.

  “I wasn’t sure what drink was best for saying congrats on your divorce,” Mae fussed, and Tess laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and snuggling into the couch to cuddle Mae’s baby while her friend listened in rapt attention to her morning.

  When her phone binged with a text, she was comfortably ensconced in a light buzz of champagne and baby snuggles.

  The couple offered on your house – one hitch, they want a three-and-a-half-week close as they have an accepted offer on their house. Can you make it happen?

  Chapter Twenty

  Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools, and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer.

  – Spiro T. Agnew

  “Whiskey soda,” Tess ordered, turning back to stare out the window at the clouds that flitted past her first-class window seat. She’d upgraded her seats for this trip and hadn’t thought a thing about it. This trip was going to be all about what she wanted. Her drink was delivered quickly with a smile and a cup of warm almonds, and Tess settled back, enjoying the pampering. A part of her wanted to nap – in fact, she felt like she could sleep for a week, as the last five days had been hell – but no way was she missing out on luxuriating in the full first-class experience.

  They’d accepted the offer on the house. It threw a huge wrench into Tess’s plans, but Gabe had been eager for the money and Tess was fed up with feeling like her life was on hold. Knowing that Tess was leaving for the trip, and that a dog sitter would be staying at the house, they’d rushed the inspection process through to ensure there were no major kinks that would derail the agreement. Once it was determined the house was in good shape, Tess had hopped on a last-minute flight to Colorado, toured several properties, and picked a house to rent that could accommodate her tight time schedule. She’d stayed one night, had dinner with Elizabeth, signed a ten-month lease, and headed home to pack for her dive trip the following day. Tess had no idea if the house she had rented was a smart choice, but the lease was only for ten months. It would be a starting point for her to move on with her life, and Elizabeth assured her it was located in a good neighborhood. All she really cared about was a fenced yard for the dogs and a garage spot for the car. With both of those items checked off her list, she’d signed, and now had a place to move to in – Tess gulped – three weeks.

  Luckily, she’d found a moving company that would take he
r half of the furniture; Cate had volunteered to drive out with her and the dogs; and the last hurdle would be signing the papers and giving Gabe a chance to move the rest of his big items out of the house. When all was said and done, Tess had worked like a maniac, checking things off her list with ruthless efficiency, and now she finally felt like she could breathe for the first time in months. From this trip forward, Tess was determined to explore what living life for herself meant. Finally, it seemed, Tess would get to really test her wings. Perhaps it was coming later in life than for most, but without the weight of Vicki’s controlling voice and having to placate Gabe, Tess felt like she could finally learn who she was as a person.

  And wasn’t that a scary thought, Tess mused as she sipped her whiskey.

  So much of her life had been defined by other people’s wants and needs that it had become second nature to question her decisions, to ask for advice constantly, to step carefully along every road she took. Writing novels had been the first thing Tess had done – in the face of much criticism from her family and Gabe – that had finally felt like her. It had only been when she’d started making a name for herself that those in her life had flipped their scripts and started speaking warmly of her accomplishments.

  Vicki had refused to acknowledge her books when Tess had first started writing. It had been a deliberate power play. For the first year or two of Tess’s writing career, whenever they’d been together as a family or at a party and the topic of Tess’s books had arisen, Vicki had swiftly changed the subject – glaringly so – and brought the focus back to her own accomplishments. It had stung at the time, as it had meant to, and now Tess wondered sadly why Vicki had felt the need to compete with her.